Ship Wreck Publications
The Places You Should Go!   Who is ShipWreckPublications and why?
Posse Excerpt Posse Excerpt

You may know all those legacy publishers in New York and wonder who the hell we are.

    ShipWreckPublications is a unique publisher. We are fully and legally incorporated in the State of Florida and have a very specialized client list. We handle only one author: the novelist Mr. Oxbow Lake the 2nd. (Mr. Lake introduces himself elsewhere on this site.)

    The corporation was founded and is led by CEO Robert A. Ward III who has modestly accepted the title of Publishing Mogul with all due humility. There is no second in command as the Publishing Mogul trusts no one but himself. The Chief Financial Officer is the Mogul’s wife, Lisa Lazzaro. CFO Lazzaro, also known as Offshore Annie, is an expert in currency manipulation and tax avoidance. She holds an apparently unpaid position with no specific responsibilities or powers. All her unpaid and unspecific activities are closely monitored by the Publishing Mogul.

    Recently CFO Lazzaro was promoted to the additional position of ShipWreck Queen. The promotion was unexpected and is in recognition of her attitude and behavior. In the position of Queen, CFO Lazzaro has the power to bestow the title of ‘ShipWreck Sir’ or ‘ShipWreck Dame’ upon any worthy individual, all worthiness determined by her and her alone. Her first official bestowal will be in connection with the awarding of the 2012 ‘ShipWreckPublications Dead Last Award’ to the individual who finishes dead last in the famous annual Bill Debs Memorial NCAA Basketball Pool. That individual will have the option of choosing which title Queen Lazzaro will bestow upon either him or her should she choose to bestow such.

    Jeannette “The Hammer” Anderson is Vice President of Human Resources. She is the Mogul’s sister and is known for her enthusiastic enforcement of all personnel policies, many of which are capricious, undocumented and secretly determined by her. She often enforces ShipWreckPublications personnel policies on individuals, and occasionally groups, who are not even members of the corporation. Her work is closely monitored by the Mogul.

    Karen Mathis, one of the Mogul’s daughters, is the Creative Director and apparently has been tricked into doing actual work. As the Mogul opines, “Someone has to work in order to keep the ShipWreck boat afloat.”

    The Mogul’s brother Donald, more commonly known as Waterboard Donnie, is Vice President of Critics Coercion and Revenge. He has years of experience in what can loosely be termed military intelligence. He is charged with ensuring that glowing praise of Mr. Oxbow Lake’s work appears in newspapers, magazines, the broadcast media and, of course, on the internet. He is very good at his job.

    The Mogul’s nephew and Waterboard Donnie’s son, Aaron The Muscle, is Vice President of Special Ops. His responsibilities and activities are known only to the family and involve close planning and cooperation with Vice President of Critics Coercion and Revenge.  As the Mogul warns, “Never let anyone outside the family know what you’re thinking or in some cases that you are thinking at all.” Thus ShipWreckPublications’ vigorously enforces the personnel practice known as ‘omerta’.  The Muscle is also very good at his job and enjoys it immensely.

    As you can see, we keep everything within the ShipWreck family. At this time, I feel obligated, if not compelled, to point out that rumors of a RICO investigation of ShipWreckPublications Corporation are, for the most part, exaggerated and all but untrue.

    We will be publishing Mr. Oxbow Lake’s first novel, and his best to date, later this year and his second novel, approximately six months later. Check this site for availability dates and how to order. ShipWreckPublications plans a very aggressive marketing strategy which we will never unveil but which we can assure you will be very effective. Some of you may even have our marketing strategy unveiled upon you.

    Should you wish us never to contact you and thus desire to invest in what will surely be for us a very profitable corporation, please contact the Publishing Mogul at be498ar@earthlink.net. All inquiries should be addressed to ‘Mr. Publishing Mogul Sir’ at the above email address.

    Should you wish to donate to this enterprise, send small, unmarked bills with non-consecutive serial numbers to the following address:
        ShipWreckPublications
        9745 Fox Chapel Road
        Tampa, Florida 33647

    Whether or not you wish to invest or donate, you should buy Mr. Oxbow Lake’s novels, which are entertaining, humorous, satiric and ribald (‘dirty’) for those of you who can read. If you are a recent high school graduate of our public school system and this information is being read to you, you should still buy Mr. Oxbow Lake’s novels and have the same idiot reading this to you also read Mr. Lake’s novels to you.

    The novels are cheap… make that inexpensive… and thus there is no excuse to not buy a copy. In fact you should buy several copies. If you hate the novels, a very unlikely occurrence, you won’t be out much dough. Should you feign outrage at the content of Mr. Oxbow Lake’s novels, look upon it as purchasing a kind of insurance policy against a painful accident… a literary offer that you can’t refuse so to speak.

    Mr. Oxbow Lake’s novels will be available as ebooks and paperbacks online at both amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com . Check this site for details.

    At this time, it is with great pleasure that the ShipWreckPublications Corporation announces the establishment of two annual awards: the ‘Costa Concordia Award for Fictional Excellence’ and the ‘Costa Allegra Award for Most Electrifying Book’.

    The ‘Costa Concordia Award for Fictional Excellence’ will be awarded to the author evidencing fictional excellence beyond the bounds of normally accepted criteria for fictional excellence. The winner of this award will be announced on April 1st of each year.

    The ‘Costa Allegra Award for Most Electrifying Book’ will be awarded to the author of the book evidencing the most shocking state of excellence. The winner of this award will be announced October 31st of each year.

    Because of the list of candidates considered eligible for these awards, Queen Lazzaro has announced that she will refuse to bestow the title of ‘ShipWreck Sir’ or ‘ShipWreck Dame’ upon the winners of these awards.

ShipWreck Publications Oxbow's Biography  
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